IELTS Preparation Series 3, Episode 3: Cohesion & Coherence in Writing
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Hello, and welcome to Study English, IELTS preparation. I'm Margot Politis.
Today we'll look at writing an essay on ageing populations and how to organise ideas about
it in a paragraph.
Let's begin by listening to a young woman talking about her grandmother:
She does mainly the cooking and looking after us, you know, making sure that we turn out
right, being strict with us. But I think part of her being here, like, allowed us to have
respect for like, you know, older people. Yeah, I think from her, I've learned a lot
- like, the Buddhist belief, how to be a good person, how to be honest and respectable person
to everyone around you.
She talked about the valuable contributions an elderly person can make. The grandmother
has positively influenced the children, teaching them respect and honesty, and cooking. Let's
see how this sort of positive view about older people is developed in a paragraph as part
of an essay.
The paragraph starts with a sentence that establishes the main point:
The valuable contributions that active and healthy aged individuals can make should not
This is called the topic sentence. The main idea is valuable contributions that active
and healthy aged individuals can make.
The writer then goes on with two sentences that support the main idea that old people
make valuable contributions by saying what the contributions are.
Firstly, these retired people could take on the role of carers for their grandchildren,
allowing both parents to work longer hours and save on day care expenses.
Notice the linking word 'firstly'. It means there will be more than one supporting sentence.
What linking word should follow 'firstly"?
Secondly, the retirees could volunteer their services as drivers for the very old and sick.
To further develop the supporting ideas, the writer provides an example.
For example, they could deliver meals directly to their homes or assist with transportation
to and from specialist appointments or hospital.
The sentence is logically related to what has just been said and linked by 'for example'.
This sentence is called a developing sentence.