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IELTS Preparation Series 3, Episode 3: Cohesion & Coherence in Writing


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Hello, and welcome to Study English, IELTS preparation. I'm Margot Politis.

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Today we'll look at writing an essay on ageing populations and how to organise ideas about

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it in a paragraph.

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Let's begin by listening to a young woman talking about her grandmother:

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She does mainly the cooking and looking after us, you know, making sure that we turn out

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right, being strict with us. But I think part of her being here, like, allowed us to have

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respect for like, you know, older people. Yeah, I think from her, I've learned a lot

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- like, the Buddhist belief, how to be a good person, how to be honest and respectable person

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to everyone around you.

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She talked about the valuable contributions an elderly person can make. The grandmother

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has positively influenced the children, teaching them respect and honesty, and cooking. Let's

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see how this sort of positive view about older people is developed in a paragraph as part

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of an essay.

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The paragraph starts with a sentence that establishes the main point:

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The valuable contributions that active and healthy aged individuals can make should not

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be overlooked.

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This is called the topic sentence. The main idea is valuable contributions that active

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and healthy aged individuals can make.

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The writer then goes on with two sentences that support the main idea that old people

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make valuable contributions by saying what the contributions are.

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Firstly, these retired people could take on the role of carers for their grandchildren,

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allowing both parents to work longer hours and save on day care expenses.

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Notice the linking word 'firstly'. It means there will be more than one supporting sentence.

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What linking word should follow 'firstly"?

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Secondly, the retirees could volunteer their services as drivers for the very old and sick.

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To further develop the supporting ideas, the writer provides an example.

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For example, they could deliver meals directly to their homes or assist with transportation

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to and from specialist appointments or hospital.

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The sentence is logically related to what has just been said and linked by 'for example'.

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This sentence is called a developing sentence.

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